A Reluctant Blogger

I am a reluctant blogger! You may wonder, than why do you have a blog? I often ask myself the same question, and I thought it worth explaining both for the benefit of those who stumble across my little blog and for me, so that on days when things just aren’t flowing the way they should I can remember why I put forth the effort at all.

I started to play with bogging about two years ago, I started a blog but never really made the commitment necessary to make anything of it. I was going through a particularly strange time getting use to life with three little boys, juggling a Master’s program and coordinating the children’s ministry at our church. For the first time as a mom I was feeling something I had heard other women describe, a feeling like I lost the part of me that was me. Every moment was devoted to caring for someone else, and when you and your spouse are out numbered by young children there are very few moments to just be yourself or be by yourself. And when your working on a Master’s in Biblical Counseling you learn to look at every situation as a means of sanctification, which meant that this very strange and difficult time became an opportunity to grow in my relationship with God and to share the lessons God was teaching with other moms. Alas despite the desire to share what God was showing me through the challenges of life with three little boys, I was held back by fear. I am painfully aware that I am not a good writer, I am dyslexic, and english grammar has always been a struggle. So, even though I felt I had something to share with other moms I was afraid that in sharing I was reveling just how unintelligent I was. I struggled with the fear that people would read what I had written and would laugh at me.

About a year ago I started thinking about blogging again, I thought about why I thought it was a good ministry to other mom, and what was holding me back. What I came to in all my pondering is that this is an issue of stewardship; God has provided me with a great biblical education through The Master’s College, a passion for ministry, a ministry to the parents and kids at our church, and a desire to share what He has taught me. God has blessed me with all of this, to not at least try to share it with others, because I am scared of sounding stupid, is well stupid to say the least. My responsibility to God is to be a witness for Him in a dark world, with all the responsibilities I have, blogging offers a way to share without taking me away from my primary ministry, my ministry to my family. I do not want to be like the lazy servant from the parable of the talents who hid his talents away so that they would not be lost, He was called wicked and lazy. In that parable the master was pleased with the servants who put forth the effort to make something of what he had given them. So I blog as a means of stewardship, I want to do something with what I have been given. I know I cannot do anything good without the Lord’s blessing, so pray He blesses those who take the time to read what I have written, and  I hope to hear those sweet words, “well done good and faithful servant! (Matthew 25:14-30)”

Please know that as you read that I am aware of the silly typos, although being dyslexic makes detecting them very difficult, and the issues with grammar, even though I don’t know exactly how to fix them. I have no grand delusions of my graceful writing style or eloquence in what I write. However, I hope that as you read you can look past all the warts, and see the beautiful things that God has taught me through my work in children’s ministry, marriage, friendship and motherhood. I want so badly to minister to others, in particular moms and dads as they labor to lead their children to the cross.

I am a reluctant blogger, but I fight my reluctance and fear in hope that I may glorify God and minister to my brothers and sisters in Christ!